Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The New Gluttony

Thanks to Cobag mart (Wal, K, Tar, anywhere), I can now buy cheap, crappy Halloween candy starting two months before the actual Satanic holiday. Just how many Trick or Treaters do they expect us to have? Millions. Of course the cabal of Big Sugar, Big Pharma and Big Dentistry are having a three-way of hate on this bad boy, because this is nothing but a diabetes-cavity axis of awesome. That being said, it has occurred to me that the Cheesecake Factory and The Double have been surpassed. That's right my friends. Crapping out the old candy while eatin' the new batch. Keeps your candy levels from dropping perilously below Oinkity Doink levels. You cobags are already doin' it, don't be candy coy.
"Oh Yosefina, my teeth done hurt from ma breakfast. Why do we have to have Dr. Thunder with our Nestle Crunch cereal? I just want some normal cheerios for once...with...with milk."

"Quiet, Yosef Jr. Jr. Don't wakey Daddy. He done been carousing last night on the majic light box with the spirits named Gavin and Brad."