Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Three Bulls Health Corner, Episode 1

The Random Randroid has a hard time with the internets, although he actually owns an internet company. Let's just file this under the category of Cornelius Vanerbilt possibly not knowing how a train works. Anyhoo, the RR is undertaking a lifestyle change that appears might be relevant for the Three Bulls! demographic, based on our market research.

The RR writes to us:
I received the first seriously (if not urgently) bad health news of my life. My cholestorol is 237, with a bad HDL/LDL ratio (6 to 1). A couple of years ago I had been in the 190 area - borderline but manageable. Mon pere has cholestorol issues. We don't know if my grandfather or great-grandfather did, but based on their life outcomes it seems pretty likely. So now I'm facing an uphill battle.

As I viewed this increase to be unacceptable, I sought medical attention. Since we don't want to do medication - first we try "lifestyle modification" - I was put on this crap diet and told to exercise a lot more.

So, at the age of 30-ish, I face the tradeoff - eat well but experience my first "incident" in my 50s, or live a long life of oatmeal? Pinko knows that I favor Existence over Life, so my first attempt will be to stick with the diet. I'm starting it today and man, it sucks. This diet f'ing sucks. How does a man in America live on 1800 calories a day? Since when is 5 Triscuits a "snack"? Jesus, this will be hard.

Highest cholesterol (I'm looking at you Mr. Deep-dried Take 5 bar) wins a Three Bulls! branded Quaker oatmeal tub (seriously). Let's see those numbers in comments.