Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Trouble with Trolls...

Trolls seek to destroy internet discourse with statements programmed to raise blood pressure and shatter argument. Their weapons are inept logic and improper hygeine. I have been following a cell of trolls that has been operating at Sadly, No! for the last couple of days. These laughable mental charlatans have given themselves non-sensical military nicknames that ironically paints them in a horrible light as they are not truly serving in our military, they are merely wreaking havoc on the web. These candid pictures represent these individuals*. Let me first introduce:

"Field Marshal Asshat"

The week li'l girlie man are to scared to respond!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by F.M. Asshat at August 18, 2005 10:51 PM
What a piece of work. Wow, this guy is a bastion of common sense and etiquette.

"Major Shortssniffer"

That's right no one cares because you leftwimps aren't funny!
Posted by Major Shortssniffer at August 18, 2005 08:57 PM

Looks like a nice guy, but he's about to drive over some school buses full of kids before he mows down a row of crosses.

"Private Jockstrapper Johnson"

CENSORED- language too foul and horrble to repost

Wow. Yeah he looks like he could beat your ass down, but the Kevin Harvick freebie shirt suggests why this guy hasn't moved up the ranks.

"Capt. Trollypants"

Triple Heh, Indeedy, Jockstrapper!
We ownz these losers!
Posted by Capt. Trollypants at August 18, 2005 10:49 PM

Note that his pic has already been defaced by his "pals". Homophobia is rampant with these guys, also small dick jokes. And bragging about their sexual exploits with the female stars of the right wing blogosphere. It's vomitous. Since it is incomprehensible that these gentleman would actually couple with superstars of the right such as Kaye Grogan, or Marie Jon' of People Political, it's pretty clear that their sickening "fan fiction" is merely a literary and grammatical assault on literature and grammar.

The thing is, we like trolls, we like to fight with them, because as limited as our intelligence is, they make us feel better. We like to have fights on the internets because we wouldn't like to get into a fight in real life. People talk about feeding the Trolls, but the Trolly boards are the most lively and passionate, because they are the ones that convince you of your ultimate rectitude. If any of these characters shows up here, you'll see for yourself what complete colostomy bags they are. I hope they do, it will freshen up the place.

*random pics from the internets legal disclaimer