Monday, July 18, 2005

Even in the meaningless things, world shifts back to evil

Caption: This kindly creature deigns to live among us and render aid in our fight against the undead forces. While fearsome, he can be subdued by gummi bears, swedish fish and other diversity promoting glutinous candies.

(Boston, MA) The robotic march of the Yankees towards their soul-bought perch atop the AL east continued with only a small 17-1 hiccup on Friday. The pinstriped zombies took 3 of 4 from our beloved resistance this weekend. The shining greatness of Friday was swept away with only a small glower from motheaten Joe Torre, the back of Gary Sheffield's impetuous hand Saturday, and the awakening of the Pear-shaped Posada beast on Sunday. The newly undead Al Leiter, having set us up for the fall with injuries and a craptacular 8 something ERA used his new powers to strike out 8 freedom fighters. Our not really loveable band were reduced to Manny's A-Rod like solo shot whimper late in the game, and two other scores but no real body blows.

In other news, the juries are still out on whether Lance Armstrong's and Tiger Woods' strangleholds on greatness are the last gasps of imperiled humanity, or the first signs of our inevitable subjugation by androids.