Saturday, December 31, 2005

Three Bulls! Pulls Itself Up From the Unceasing River of Bullsh*t

Only to flood you with a torrential downpour of unseemly and marginal content.

1. SeanS of shootaliberal has been bored by us. We must try harder to amuse him in his Nero-like debauched shell of existence.

2. We would like to thank American Airlines for our safe return to Teh Gay Bay, albeit with a probable blood clot inching it's way to our brains.

3. This joke has nothing to do with deadly wildfires, but more a meditation on a certain expression. Three Bulls! has noted the fondness of certain deliberate Southerners™ to call out to seemingly blurry, fast-moving Northerners™ "where's the fire?" as if to censure their haste. Three Bulls! would like to note that if that hypothetical fire were to be in Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport, then everybody would be dead, certainly those ordering a sandwich for the apparent first time in their life.

4. We have been away from our Supercomputer of Webposting Extravagancy, we apologize, we know your lives have been inordinantly dimmed by the recent dullness of our shining star.

5. The doggies have survived their trip to the doggie holding center, although Smokedog seems put out by NSA spying. Pugman considers him a traitor and was merely happy to be safe. Also, since we are trafficking in hypotheticals, my good deeds saved countless millions of lives, because all those cobags I told to "eat it" did so. Don't ask me for proof. Also, I stopped 50 nuclear bombs using Jexter's laser. Turns out implacable nanobots actually can be placated by Take 5 bars. So next time somebody wants to leak my play book (thanks T. Lott, we needed to football analogize this terrorism situation, and way to drop Sun Tzu- maybe you meant General Tso [ed. can't find the quote]), they'd better think first, because they could be signing the death warrant of countless millions of hypothetical terror victims. To quote a famous man: "it could happen".