Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Musical Wallpaper

I had to drive into the city tonight. I listen to the radio. I don't bring a CD, because I like to listen to the radio in the car, even if it sucks as it always does. Occasionally the c*ck rock station will come through with Hell Bent for Leather (Priest) or Sin City (the 'DC) that I can ironically* enjoy while dodging Escalades and Cayennes in the love boat I'm pedaling a la Fred and Barney. I simply cannot abide the supposedly harmless type songs that can be played across multiple formats so you're likely to run across them up and down the dial. For example the intensely mediocre "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz. There have been 5 better songs in iTunes ads ALONE, and that might even include the impossibly derivative Jet. There is nothing wrong with the song, but what makes it that it can be heard on three different stations simultaneously? AS I HEARD IT just the other day. Other songs bands in this boring/harmless category: almost any Red Hot Chili Peppers song.

Seriously, nothing says you are phoning it in more. I'm not even ripping the Chilis, I'm ripping the lazy asses that think someone wants to hear that another 700 times a week. And now there is a format that has every single one of those songs from every decade, and it's called "Alice" or "Mike" or "Bob" or some other corporate douchery. What the hell is it called in your city? "Dave?" "Cobwagon?" You know, I can't even blame the corporate programmers that are trying to "make the most people happy". No, they are making the most average and lazy people happy. The people that would listen to the radio NO MATTER WHAT because they are so lazy they would never turn it off. Check out these charts of songs people are playing on their own computers. Given the choice, they're like little rats hitting the cheeze button in the lab for the same old same old.

Of course, jedmunds will crow about how Wonderwall is somehow in the Top 10, and I will respond "Eat it, cobag." With love, of course.

*not ironically.