Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Scene: Des Moines, Iowa Late 90s

Cast: Gregor - a young, studly, earnest and naïve engineer (civil-environmental-sanitary OK I mostly designed systems to treat sewage). Toothless Assistant - a local boy that at the age of 25 had managed to loose most of his teeth – not through anything cool like fighting mind you but rather through poor hygiene - actually a really cool guy.

Plot: Wastewater sampling from sewer manholes throughout the City. The manhole of interest to this story was located immediately downstream from a hog slaughterhouse.

Gregor: “Hey Toothless Assistant what’s in all those semis?”
TA: “That’s hogs!”
Gregor: “Oh…”
-hours later-
Gregor: “Hey Toothless Assistant why’s the water in this manhole so hot and why does it smell like Navy Bean soup?”
TA: “That’s the waste flow from the hog rendering!”
Gregor: “Oh…”
-hours later-
Gregor: “Hey Toothless Assistant do pigs always make so much noise? Why are they squealing like that?”
TA: “That’s because they are going to be keeled and they know it!”
Gregor: “Oh…”