Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Double

The Double is a ****ing sacrifice to the Gods of fat, grease, overindulgence and self-centered oinkity doink that is our culture. Cookie Jesus' thirst for our affection may be slaked by a special sacrifice, one for which need be trained (hey Chuckwagon, notice the lack of dangling?). This involves the very doable Double. There is a Triple, which should not be attempted at lunch, this is a dinner. A Quadruple is theoretically possible, but gas prices and physical reality have slightly interceded. More on the Quad later.

The Double:

Hop in car. Take uninitiated friend. Drive. There's a 7-11 on the way, a Slurpee is awesome, but this would be the Double*, or for another version one could get a Jarritos or a Jamaica at the place (first place, that is). Where you will get these ($1.15 apeice).
Three Bulls didn't take this pic of a "taco truck" taco ("street tacos")- two griddle warmed fresh corn tortillas with a pile of tasty carnitas, or what have you, al pastor (a spiced, bbq pork- can be amaazing, can also just taste like MSG) some onions, cilantro (yeah I know it tastes like soap when you are a kid, but grow up, it's awesome) and some yummy homemade salsa. (picture stolen from here, please read, the FULL lowdown on the tacos). Also come in carne asada, tongue, tripe, what have you, but what you see is what you get- usually a lime on the side, some spicy pickled carrots and peppers, and some radish, sometimes a small, whole grilled onion. These will be devoured in the parking lot. However, this is the Double. Or Double*. Meaning we aren't done yet, and Cookie Jesus is far from satisfied.

Next stop, a mere two minutes down the road. Initiate the uninitiated into the ol' In and Out. We've discussed that, especially the last bite, previously, here. Anyway, get the fries, make sure you mow them before they are gross (their half life is under 4 minutes, that's for sure). Get the number 3 (burger, fries, drink, no onions, a little too chemical tasting). And that's the Double. Double* is plus slurpee. The TRIPLE, well, that's crossing the street and getting not one, but two Krispy Kremes. One reg, one maple. The heretofore only contemplated QUADRUPLE, which would literally send spasms of ecstacy throughout Cookie Jesus, would be to hop cross the bridge or head down the 101 for a Vietnamese sandwich. This will be discussed at a further date when it has been accomplished. Ok kids, what constitutes your regional Double, and can we get some calorie counts? CJ loves it when you are accurate in your gluttonous worship. Also, we dedicate this last double and every taco-containing double, as always, to Twisty Faster, who's got a sitch right now. Throw it, TF!