Sunday, September 11, 2005

A True Voice of Freedom from the Ashes of September 11th



This open letter was published on the conservative blog newsrebel.com. I am reposting it here because, much like a diamond, it has endless clarity and a carat of truth. AG thinks the part about Canadia is flawless and colourless.

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT,
DEMOCRAT
OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow
Americans: As you
all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
been
completed.


Since
congress does not want to spend any more money
on this war, our
mission in
Iraq is complete.


This morning I
gave the order for a complete
removal of all American
forces from Iraq.
This action will be complete
within 30 days. It is now to
begin the
reckoning.

Before me, I have
two lists. One list contains the names
of countries
which have stood by our
side during the Iraqconflict. This
list is short.
The United Kingdom,
Spain,Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland
are some of the
countries listed
there.

The other list contains
everyone not on the first list. Most of
the
world's nations are on that
list. My press secretary will be
distributing
copies of both lists later
this evening.

Let me start
by saying that effective immediately,
foreign aid to
those nations on List 2
ceases immediately and
indefinitely. The money
saved during the first year
alone will pretty
much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

The
American people are
no longer going to pour money into third
world
Hell-holes and watch
those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a
famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together
with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing
social problems we still have at home. On
that note, a word to terrorist
organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
you down and eliminate you and
all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy
country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
China.

I am ordering the
immediate severing of diplomatic relations
with
France, Germany, and
Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
retiring from NATO as
well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed
the Mayor of New York
City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles
located inManhattan
with more than two unpaid parking
tickets to sites where
those vehicles
will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about
whatever
treaty pertains to this. You creeps
have tens of thousands of
unpaid
tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
watch your precious Benzes,
Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the
finest chop shops in the
world. I love New York .

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is
on
List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other,
you folks
might want to try
not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on
List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
government really need an
attitude adjustment. I will have a couple
extra
tank and infantry divisions
sitting around. Guess where I am going
to put
em? Yep, border security. So
start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States
is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty
- starting now.

We are tired of the
one-way highway. Immediately,
we'll be drilling
for oil in Alaska - which
will take care of this
country's oil needs for
decades to come. If you're an
environmentalist
who opposes this decision, I
refer you to List 2 above:
pick a country
and move there. They care.

It is time for America to
focus on its
own welfare and its own
citizens. Some will accuse us of
isolationism. I
answer them by saying,
"darn tootin."


Nearly a
century of
trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only
earned
us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
planet. It is
time
to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in
America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks
guys. We owe
you
and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought:
You
might want to learn to
speak Arabic.

God bless America.
Thank you
and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If
you are
reading it in
English, thank a soldier.