Sunday, September 25, 2005

Hitting the Club, Old School

Saturday night club mix, for the 80s kids. This was basically the retro night featured at Industry (RIP) a pretty great club in Pontiac, Michigan on Tuesday nights ca. 1992-1995. The name of the night was “Homesick” and they packed them in, on a Tuesday night. Being a Tuesday night, it wasn’t your usual sausage festival, not like young Punko was going to be scoring with anyone, anyway. Sigh, it’s broken up into three convenient mixes, for driving there while their simulcasting on 89X, one for when you get there trying to find your groove, and third for when you find it.


1. I Want Candy (Extended 12” Mix)-Bow Wow Wow.
Ah those were the days when Malcolm McLaren could go to Southeast Asia and come back with a 15 year dynamo, and then pose her naked on the album cover a la Manet’s “Luncheon on the Grass” or some such thing. What a scumbag. Has that “eatin’ a sandwich Adam and the Ants beat. These guys were fun.

2. Work (For Love)-Ministry
Al Jourgenson in his With Sympathy phase. He sounds so English and my god what did they turn into. This isn’t even 5% the goth that “Everyday is Halloween” and that wasn’t 5% as abrasive as “Stigmata”. Euro-trash electro disco. Awesome in that ironic time-capsule way. WORK! *for love*/whisper

3. Situation (Move Out)-Yaz
I hate this song. It is only here for accuracy.

4. Cars-Gary Numan w/Fear Factory
This isn’t historically accurate, but the extra crunch and menace of Fear Factory essentially make this an awesome remake. Get your robot swerve on.

5. Uncertain Smile (Original 12” mix)-The The
Kind of a bear to deal with on the dance floor, as it’s not a dance tune, and it’s 10 minutes and it has a problematic flute solo (Pinko Punko gets a rash from flute solos). However the Xylophone or whatever and piano etc, and the general awesomeness of the song gives it a pass. The The seem to have been all but forgotten, but Matt Johnson is a talented guy, and they are worth checking out.

6. Baby Pain (Extended 12” mix)-Intaferon
They may have never even released an album, maybe just a couple of EPs. This tune got played on the modern rock station in SLC, UT. I have never ever seen this record. Of all the stuff of this genre, I have physically seen the record in a store somewhere. A great, great 80s tune, just basically heavy percussion and synth, almost industrial, yet so John Hughes movie worthy. Should have been a huge hit. “Baby pain/make my heart throb again/heart throb with pain”

7. Spirit in the Sky-Doctor and the Tardis
Not even close to the Norman Greenbaum original, but this one’s modern rock.
8. Everything Counts (in larger amounts 12” mix)-Depeche Mode
Ah the kid at camp that played this tape over and over. The California kids were so much cooler than us kids from the sticks.

9. Relax-Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Does Red State America know that Frankie went to number 1 singing about not coming? Oops, it was with his gay lover, never mind. File under almost abstinence, or at least shooting in the right direction.

10. Rat In Mi Kitchen-UB40
The song that brough pop renaissance to us. Hee hee. I’m gonna feast on rat!! NO!!!!!!! Check out the Herb Alpert outro on this bad boy. I know the girl in the Girbaud jeans and white body suit would have loved this song. *sigh*

11. Temptation (original 12” version)-New Order
There is no comparison, this original version from what 1981 trumps the rerecorded 1987 Substance version. A killer on the floor, especially if you have green, blue or grey eyes. Sorry brown eyed girl.

12. How Soon Is Now?-The Smiths
At this point in the evening, you’re still on your way to the club if you are cool, if you are a dork you’re already there, but then you don’t miss it when the DJ blows this big gun early in the night. The song to end all songs. There could be a 40 minute mix and the kids would still be out there (even pre-X). Before I liked the Smiths I still dug this riff. Because your booty can’t say no.

13. Coming Home (Major Tom)-Pete Schilling
It should be the German version if the DJ is cool. Of course he isn’t because he already played HSIN? The cool kids just start to arrive here.



1. Homosapien-Pete Shelley
Buzzcocks frontman drops a solo track that is more synthy that the Buzzcocks, and totally underrated. The cure girls don’t bite, stay at the bar. You’re hosed, you busted out onto the floor and you can’t slink back. You enjoy it, hoping some noodler is out there with you so that its not just you and your moves.

2. World Destruction (12” Mix)-Timezone featuring John Lydon
Afrikaa Bambiataa hooks up with Mr. PiL/Sex Pistols for some early dance hop. Lydon is great for the dance floor. PiL essentially was dance punk before it was even a genre.

3. Tainted Love (12” Mix)-Soft Cell/w Marc Almond
Thank God. The statuesque drag queens can come to your rescue at least, and and sorority girls. The gothies like this one too, because they can mimic poisoning you with their tainted love, while you are forced to mimic running away although you’d prefer to stay and be poisoned.

4. Mirror in the Bathroom-The English Beat (yes we know they were just The Beat)
A little ska interlude for the skankers.

5. Ca Plane Pour Moi-Plastic Bertrand
Super famous French punk song that is awesome. Probably has been in a million Volkswagen ads, but sadly forgotten on American shores.

6. Dancing in Heaven-Q Feel
For the ladies. The quintessential 80s dance tune from “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”- love ya SJP! *kiss kiss*

7. Reap the Wild Wind-Ultravox
Swoon. Midge. Ure. Making. The. Waver. Girls. Swoon.

8. Hyperactive-Thomas Dolby
Underrated popster drops this electro-funk gem on us, so much better than “Blinded Me…”

9. AEIOU-Sometimes Y (12” mix)-Ebn Ozn
This song is a new wave oddity, but kills on the floor because you are just waiting for the line “she took me home/I told I wouldn’t sleep with her friends/ she doesn’t sleep with my friends/”

10. Big Hollow Man-Danielle Dax
This song is so cool, and I have no idea what it sounds like. She has a lot of sounds that are ahead of her time. She’s like an electro, weird, dancefloor Kate Bush. The voice isn’t quite there but it has a certain theatrical bent. Anyway, this song is about some religious charlatan but sounds like it is set 5000 years in the future on the bombed out robot planet.

11. Genius of Love-Tom Tom Club
Somehow the seemingly whitest two people on earth (Tina and Chris from Talking Heads) one up the funk quotient from their actually pretty funky in its weird way regular band, and drop a track that 1000 budding MCs probably free-styled to, and Mariah Carey sampled TWICE (Honey I think, and I swear Heartbreaker).

12. Doot Doot (Extended 12” mix)-Freur (unpronounceable squiggle)
They went on to greater glory as Underworld, but they were an enigmatic English synth group that beat Prince to the punch for squiggle symbols by 10 years. This song works better when you are young and dramatic and in high school and your activities consist of driving around and maybe getting a Slurpee and thinking about some girl that is invariably making out with some jock at that very moment, and to a less good song. If only you could have at least provided the mix tape! Pop quiz: how many Three Bulls! Dorks™ have probably soundtracked some delightful lasses makeout session with some other guy? You know it’s true. “Thanks _____(GregH? md? pr? Pinko?), thanks soooo much for the awesome tape, I love it. I’ll always think of you when I listen to it not with you.”

13. Our Lips Are Sealed-Fun Boy Three
First of all, I love Belinda and the Go-Go’s as much as the rest of waver boys my age, but this version, the not-original, is the true modern rock classic. Sung in a kind of robotic way. As if he’s halfway into the bottle of pills, and the song is not really accurate about his view of “it doesn’t matter what they say.” A brief respite from the dance floor reverie of Doot Doot and what’s to come.

14. Love Will Tear Us Apart-Joy Division
It is a total sausage festival around the delightful goth girl, and you don’t want to hit on her, you just want to dance with her and feel her pain, but you keep getting squeezed out by the human elbow and orange Mohawk guy that thinks this is a moshing song.

15. To The Sky-The Cure
For a long time you had to settle for this taped off the radio because it was on basically nonexistent Fiction records sampler. “Just Like Heaven” would have worked here before it got played out (was there such a time? Ed.- yes).


1. Tubular Bells/Pretty Boys, Pretty Girls (Extended Mix)-Book of Love
After that last break, it becomes a dance off of death until closing. This isn’t for weenies. This is serious. It’s totally unclear but something about Book of Love was always gender bending and was somehow about sex, so the girls are getting down to this one.

2. Never Let Me Down Again-Depeche Mode
We’ve discussed this previously. This is as heavy and as awesome as they get. You try not to geekily sing along, but you have to, you are compelled.

3. Cities in Dust (Extended)-Siouxsie and the Banshees
You literally cannot enjoy this song until it is clear that it is the extended version, because that version is so much better than the normal one, and the one that lets you do you disinterested stare look during the break down. And you’re not certain of that until 2:28 in, then you go with it.

4. Lips Like Sugar (12” Extended Mix)-Echo and the Bunnymen
You know this is extended right off the bad from the kind of played out extend-o-drum bit that fills out the opener. That doesn’t matter, it’s LIPS LIKE SUGAR. This is a different vocal mix that the album version, so you wait for “the king of Siam I am/and my Siamese twin/alone on the river/mirror kisses” because it’s like, totally different.

5. Out of Hand (12” Mix)-Mighty Lemon Drops
Probably not appropriate for the mix, historically speaking, but it would have fit. The song you know by them is “Inside Out”.

6. Go!-Tones on Tail
Proto-industrial grind from Ash and Haskins? From Love and Rockets/Bauhaus.

7. Everyday is Halloween-Ministry
Oh the Gothies have been waiting for this and they descend upon you. You feign indifference, but deep down you don’t understand, but they heed the call of their master.

8. Blue Monday-New Order
The kids are in a froth at this point. You secretly wished they’d put “Temptation” in this spot instead.

9. Up on the Catwalk-Simple Minds
Deodato, Michaelangelo, Nastasjia Kinski, Robert DeNiro. What? Awesome. Check the song.

10. Are Friends Electric?-Gary Numan.
My love for this song has been well documented on Three Bulls!. I can’t explain it. It is the best pseudo robotic song ever. And don’t give me this Kraftwerk shit, Norbiz. KW has a role in this world, but the ultimate robot song ever is this one, withstanding even Bangalter and Daft Punk.

11. Dominion/Mother Russia-Sisters of Mercy
Wow. Also documented previously the Sapphic tableau presented to Pinko Punko at the club during this song while PP was an impressionable young club goer.

12. Madame Butterfly-Malcom Maclaren
The opera sampling dance floor slow song show closer. What can we say, this song is basically terrible but the aria from Madame Butterfly somehow still sounds great and sends you home happy, albeit sad and alone as predicted by Messers Morrissey and Marr.