Saturday, August 13, 2005

In which we borrow a page from the General

Our apologies to Jesus' General, whom we think would approve.

Dear Dolly Parton,

Thank you for providing a patriotic Civil War experience for youngsters at your Dixie Stampede (TM) theme show and restaurant. It is important that the genocide of Native Americans be glossed over, so that the entertainment value of having a horse-riding competition between "North" and "South" for 40 bucks a head commence. It is even more important that children learn that the Civil War, or more rightly "War of Northern Aggression" (you don't call it that, but we know a wink wink when we see one), is discussed as being due to "two different ideas of patriotism" that came to a head at Fort Sumter in 1861. This is especially important in the state of Missouri that the young children there be shielded from old wives tales concering the Bushwhackers, Jayhawkers and the Order of American Knights. Clearly history has smeared these patriots just as it has their descendants, the KKK. Our only quibble with the glossing over of history presented at your great show, was that time wasn't allowed to discuss the KKK and their role in public works and the baking of pies. And when you appear in video at the end of the show to claim "there really is no North, or South, only the red, white, and blue" it truly makes the case that we can wave the "Southern Cross" and the "Stars and Stripes" together.

Yours in Patriotism and Rebellion,

Pinko Punko