Friday, July 15, 2005

Crapping on Pinko's Random Music - A Twisted Revue

For reasons that entirely escape me, Pinko Punko has great taste in music, yet his iTunes collection is full of random sh*t. Really bad stuff. So I had him send me a random revue so you can see how bad the selections are:

Pinko responds in red.

1. King Klang "Heavydale" - 2 Many DJ's

A short interlude of the same bass riff that was boring and stupid the first time I heard it. I guess I would like it if King Crimson did the same thing. What can I say - I'm a hypocrite. 3/10 Legit (this is from a great DJ mix though)

2. Scissors - Barbara Manning

This song is start off kind of cool, especially because the percussion sounds like snipping scissors. I should probably know who she is, but I don't and don't want to cheat either. Sounds like a chick rock duet - kind of like Mr. Airplane Man. The song is neither awesome nor bad nor totally boring nor attention-grabbing. It might grow on me, but isn't changing enough and there is a little whiny in there. 6/10 Legit, not her best
Indie Pop Rocks band. San Fran native.

3. Iron Man - Black Sabbath

I can't believe I'm listening to this sh*t! It feels like watching an episode of Beavis and Butthead. Yet ... that tune permeates my soul and unleashes the hidden satanic messages from within. Also, it sounds a lot like Rush and my Canadian senses pick up on that and accept it musically. 8/10 Should be a million out of 10

4. Promises - The Buzzcocks

I think I like some songs by the Buzzcocks, but not all of them. It just sounds a little retro and real-punk, not meta-punk. It's not a bad song - good drumming and I like the call and response, but it doesn't make me want to thrash about. 7/10
Legit

5. Rip Rip - David Holmes

Oh baby. This song has the attitude, the funk, and the pimps. The musical interlude goes on a bit, but that's OK. Any song that rips off Queen Another One Bites the Dust is OK by my books. I like that it's not really a rap, but more spoken word. Cool. You man, watch the road white boy! 8/10 You total cobag. This is from the movie "Out of Sight" hence the "rap" is known as dialogue. Did you not recognize Don Cheadle? Uncanny: "No"

6. Zcroom - DJ Lance Lockarm

And in contrast, this song does nothing for me. I don't want to hear the words and I don't care for the pounding drums. And I hate lyrics that go, "So c'mon everybody .....". Oh, even better: "I got a climax waiting for each and every cherry". Oh yeah, do me baby. Lame. 2/10 I think this is some bootleg mashup. Uncanny probably doesn't recognize any of the three songs that make up this one. *sigh*

7. Morning Sun - Dot Allison

Listening to how this song starts, it reminds me of a soundscape like what Fripp and Eno were into. Maybe a little Reich-y minimalist. I think it falls into a subcategory of trance music. Crap, I need to find that electronic music website. There are also words finally half-way through. Yeah, not post-rock at all. I'm surprisingly less into it now that she keeps singing. I like the idea of the voice accompanying the sitar sound without being wordy. I think I could be into her music, though. 6/10 This song is an awesome chill out tune. Uncanny is being a Canadian.

8. Tony Onyango - Kenya Dance Mania

Evidence that these songs are truly randomized. It's hard to have much of an opinion on Kenyan music. I'm sure I'm missing the nuance. It just sounds like World Music to me. It's pleasant and I like the sound of the instruments and rhythm. I'm totally unoffended. The song would get a 7/10 if it ended in half the time it actually lasts. 6.5/10 The key to this Kenyan music is the awesome guitar sounds and rhythm instruments. If Uncanny were allowed to do something else with this on, he would realize that this song is really good and better than average "world music." This CD is about 7 bucks and has all these awesome songs (the CD is Kenya Dance Mania).


9. Welcome - K.M.F.D.M

A very short synth-blazed tune. Thank god it's short. 2/10 Ha ha. I should have made you listen to 10 KMFDM songs.

10. Miss Teen Wordpower - The New Pornographers

"Because nobody knows the wreck of the soul the way that you do". It's perfect. If the old pornographers were as good as these guys, we wouldn't have Republicans anymore. Because the title is just as good as the song, it only seems fair to give this a 10.0/10

11. Backdrifts (Honeymoon is Over) - Radiohead

Not one of the better tracks from Hail to the Thief. It has the right voice stuff going on, but the Kid-A-y instruments don't do it for me. The song is also a little long for the amount of drama it has. But it is Radiohead after all, so even a lesser song is still 7.5/10

12. Those to Come - The Shins

The Shins always sound so good downtempo. They sound as good as any band that has ever existed. I love the picked guitar and harmonica-y synths. The tune is so good. I love the one word phrases and the usage of the word "ether". But the title isn't as good as Miss Teen Wordpower ... so only 10/10

13. Jump - Van Halen

I can't help but remember this song from when it first came out. It was one of the first videos I saw, and I saw it plenty of times. I think at the time it might have sounded a little cheesy, but in retrospect it was just solid rock and roll. The musicianship is pretty good, but it's still an '80s anthem. 7.5/10 Why don't you just jump then, mother**c**r

Bonus: Emotional Rescue - The Rolling Stones

Pinko had to give this to me because I couldn't make the connection between his review published on Song of the Day here. Now that I've heard the song, I remember it. It's good, but not one of their best.
8/10 Yeah, that goes without saying, but is it a sleazy 70's anthem? Yes. 14 billion/10.